My friend is having a transplant

Introduction

Knowing your friend is going through something tough like a stem cell transplant can be hard.

You might be thrilled they’re able to have this treatment, but worried about their recovery.

You could have lots of questions and want to know how best to help.

Your friend's recovery

After your friend has had their stem cell transplant, they’ll spend at least a few weeks in hospital to recover. This allows them to recover from the conditioning therapy they had before their transplant, which could include radiotherapy, chemotherapy or both. It also gives their new immune system time to develop.

When they come home, it will take time before they start to feel anything like ‘normal’ again. Although they may look much better than they did before their transplant, they could still have a long period of recovery ahead of them.

Some people find their recovery from stem cell transplant is Some people find their recovery from stem cell transplant is relatively straightforward. But for others it can be very difficult and demanding. Your friend may have to deal with long-term side effects. These can include graft versus host disease (GvHD), fatigue and infections.

It’s also quite common for people to have to go back into hospital for further treatment. They’ll be monitored closely by their medical team so if problems do happen, they can be dealt with quickly. They’ll also have regular hospital check-ups and blood tests to confirm everything is OK.

It’s normal to want to know more about your friend’s treatment and recovery. But asking too many questions might overwhelm them. Thankfully, you can find out more about stem cell transplants on our webpages. They can tell you everything you need to know. They explain what a stem cell transplant is, the treatment your friend will have and what they can expect during their recovery.

You can also ask our Patient Services team anything at patientinfo@anthonynolan.org or 0303 303 0303.

• If your friend is having CAR T-cell therapy, Blood Cancer UK has developed some extra information that you may find useful. You can read it here: CAR T-cell therapy: resources for carers.

Practical help you can give

There are plenty of ways you can help your friend so that their day-to-day life is a little easier. Of course, you know them better than we do. But the following suggestions might be useful: 

Childcare – If your friend has children, they may really appreciate you looking after them while they go to a hospital appointment. Or they could have a much-needed rest. The same might apply to their pets, too.

Housework – Your friend could welcome an offer of help around the house. This could be cleaning or shopping. Or you could prepare meals to freeze, which will be there when they’re needed.

Update others – Your friend may only want to see a few close friends to begin with. You could offer to keep the wider circle of friends updated on their behalf, to avoid your friend getting overwhelmed.

Importance of your own health

Your friend’s immune system will not be as strong as yours, especially in the early stages of their recovery. This means they’re at a greater risk of picking up an infection. So, if you have a cold or illness, or even if you just feel slightly under the weather, it’s best to not see them – rearrange any plans for when you are better.

Germs and dirt can pose a risk to your friend. So, they may seem uneasy, anxious or even paranoid about hygiene and infections when you visit. So, try to be mindful of this. Make a point of washing your hands with soap or alcohol gel as soon as you arrive.

If you’re not sure about something, just ask! Your friend will appreciate you taking the risk of infection seriously. We also have more information on our dealing with infections page.

Listening to difficult conversations

Your friend might go through a tough time in their recovery, and they could turn to you for help and support.

Unfortunately, we can’t tell you exactly what to say to make everything OK.

Often the most important thing is to simply listen. This will let your friend know they’re being heard and their thoughts and emotions are valid.

It might also be worth bearing in mind the following suggestions:

• Ask open-ended questions. These allow your friend to expand on how they’re feeling. (These are questions that don’t invite a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer).
• Repeat back to them the main points you’ve heard. It will let your friend know you’ve listened and are doing your best to understand.
• Think about what your body is saying too. Though you might feel tense and awkward, try to appear relaxed and open. Maintaining eye contact can be helpful for some. Or you might both prefer to listen and talk side by side.
• Reassure your friend their feelings are normal for their situation. Remind them that if they’re feeling bad today, it won’t be forever.
• Don’t interrupt them, even if you think what you’re about to say is helpful. Wait until they’ve finished speaking first.
• Ask if there’s anything specific you can do to help. This could be one of the more practical tips above or checking in on them once a week. Or you could recommend TV shows and send them funny videos!